Monday, April 30, 2018

#30facesofautism - Day 30


Day 30 – I have intentionally saved this post until last, quite frankly because I knew it would be the hardest one to write.  As a parent you cannot help but wonder about the future when you bring a child into this world.  Who will they be? Will they be happy?  Will they live a good life? Will they find love?  I have all these same wonderings plus about a million more.  Having a child with autism means there are just as many unknowns but other potential concerns the majority of parents don’t have to contemplate.  These worries are even further compounded by the fact that we are older parents.  Will she ever be able to live independently? Will she be able to tell the good people from the bad?  What will happen to her when something happens to us? I have faith folks, a whole mountain of it BUT I have to think about the future for her, for all of us.  I will also admit that there have been times where I felt afraid.  Since her diagnosis about every six months this fear has created an oppressive ball of anxiety in my gut that had to be talked through and out with dear friends. I have shed a river of tears. Our Big Girl turned 21 this past Friday.  I am so proud of the young woman she has become.  She is smart and talented and kind – she has the biggest heart, most especially for her baby Sissy.  Her desire has long been to study in hopes of helping children like her sister – she remains on that path in college today.  She has dealt with roadblocks and challenges but has persevered.  Love. Patience.  Skill. Determination.  She has everything inside her that she will need to be able to take Baby Girl by the hand if fate requires that we let go.  I am always so stuck watching them from behind, grateful in knowing that no matter what may happen they will be fine facing a future together.  #30facesofautism



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