Day 16 – During those first couple days after Gran passed away
we had to make the necessary arrangements for her funeral and burial. For that first visit to the funeral home Baby
Girl had to tag along because big sister had a class at the same time. She did great while we sat at the conference
table to go over the details and I wrote the obituary to go to the local paper. I knew what was coming next and was not really
sure how it would go – I was fully prepared that we would not be able to even
go into the coffin room to choose one when it came time. I know firsthand how difficult that visual can
be. We approached the door slowly and
her eyes grew so big, “Look at the beautiful bumped beds Mama!”. I think she was going for ‘bunk beds’ and I could
not help but smile. Her attention turned
almost immediately though to the floor – to the deep pile, super plush,
perfectly vacuumed tracked dark green carpet – something the likes of which she
had never seen before. Before I could give
a directive she was on it, face down, arms out, moving her fingers through
it. There was no stopping her – I couldn’t
even get her attention – she was in heaven, or with Kevin, she was content and
happy and unbothered by the grief around her. This same coping mechanism
continued the next evening at the visitation.
We stayed on the far end of the big room way away from the business end with
some new toys I bought as distractions for the occasion. What did Baby Girl do the whole time you
might wonder? Play with the new
toys? No. She made carpet angels. Sensory stuff. It’s funny how jeans or a tag or the line on
the toes of socks can send her over the edge but then a certain jacket, or that
blanket or the thick, soft carpet in a funeral home can bring comfort. (Explaining
Death - Part 2 of 3) #30facesofautism
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